


stealth mode

by ethandiesofdysentery



Series: multiplayer mode [3]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: DID/OSDD, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Drabble, Light Angst, M/M, i didnt write this one lads, this is a really quick one off vent fic for someone else lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:09:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27940556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethandiesofdysentery/pseuds/ethandiesofdysentery
Summary: Unus is getting tired.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Series: multiplayer mode [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034112
Comments: 13
Kudos: 130





	stealth mode

**Author's Note:**

> hey gang!! welcome to part 3 of multiplayer mode which is way different than one and two because I Didn't Write It! so if you're thinking "wait sydnee this is an entirely different mood and writing style", then yup! yup. it is.
> 
> some1 needed to vent sdfkjsdljf so here's this short one off fic full credit to the author who, in an ironic twist, i will not name. (i feel bad but i think she gets it)
> 
> thanks 4 reading and for your support of this series! 
> 
> -syd <3
> 
> (EDIT: i just want yall to know that even tho this fic is rly deep and emotional the author just tried to make me skip homework so she could watch tiktok povs so if you were wondering how life in a system works it's that)

Unus is getting tired. No, not tired. Unus is getting exhausted.

It has been a few months since he came to be. He's finally managing to adjust to existing. He's getting to know the others in this system, and he's liking them. He's especially liking getting to know Mark. He's happy Ethan has such a strong support system within only one person. It's impressive, and it makes Unus wonder why Ethan even needs him. Not in a self-deprecating way, mind you. It's more like, "this man is so strong, and has lived through so much, and to have one person who can make all of that better is such a lucky thing".

But then.

Just as he's getting used to existing, Unus is having to get used to the places where he can't exist. These places can be summarized as, "anywhere that isn't home or Mark". It's frustrating. Unus wants to exist. He wants to make friends. No, not make friends. Unus has friends. What he needs is friends who don't just think he's Ethan.

No one ever talks about how hard it is to be an alter. No one knows you exist. Unus has participated in his fair share of videos with Mark, finding and enjoying the irony in the fact that they bear his name, but when the viewers watch those videos, they don't see Mark and Unus. They see Mark and Ethan. It's crushing. All Unus wants is for even one more person to look at him and see _him_.

It's hard to not exist. 

It's Sunday. They're going to film again. Unus has been fronting more lately, and to be honest, it's almost exclusively when he's with Mark. He hates to be around anyone who doesn't know who they're really talking to.

He's not really planning to say it, if he's honest. But he's been thinking it for a while.

"I want to tell people."

The words surprise him almost as much as they surprise Mark. He sees the gears turn in Mark's head as he eyes Unus, trying to decipher who he's talking to. It's not hard. Unus is sitting up straight, legs crossed at the ankle, hands clasped on the table in front of him. No one else in this system would ever be able to manage even a fraction of the composure it takes to sit like this.

Mark doesn't bother to ask who's fronting. He knows it's Unus, and just the knowing is enough to make Unus's heart feel warm. The look in Mark's eyes that says, "that's Unus that I'm looking at right now" is all he wants, from everyone, if he can have it.

"Is that a good idea?" Mark asks, a skeptical eyebrow raised. Inside, a couple more voices that Unus doesn't bother to distinguish echo the same thing.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Unus replies, knowing full well the answer to his question. Mark lets out a deep sigh, as he is wont to do around anyone in the system. They all have a habit of drawing pained exhales from him, it seems.

Mark's eyebrow migrates higher into his forehead. "Unus, you know why it wouldn't. That would have a huge effect on everyone in the system, not just you. Have you even talked to any of the rest of them?"

Unus takes a deep breath, then lets it out again. "Well, no."

Mark scrunches up his face in the way Ethan finds adorable and Unus finds to be, "a facial expression". Unus feels Ethan blush, and makes a point to roll his eyes in protest. 

"You can't just make decisions for the entire system," Mark says, his face flickering with a little spark of amusement as he can clearly see Unus and Ethan fighting over nothing but their face. 

"Why not?" Unus asks, and before Mark can state the obvious, he drops his pièce de résistance. "Ethan does it all the time."

The room falls silent, and so does Unus's head. Even the normal background chatter that comes with a crowded mind has dissipated. Mark is opening and closing his mouth, floundering much like a fish out of water. As hard as he tries to understand, Mark doesn't know what Unus and company are feeling. Thusly, he can't find the correct way to respond.

_Unus- _Ethan's voice says from the back of his mind.__

__"I want to exist, Mark," Unus says, deadpan, holding his face as even as he can manage. It's the words he's been thinking for so long, but hearing himself say them aloud is...different._ _

__"You do exist," Mark replies immediately, and Unus knows he's misunderstood._ _

__"To you," he replies evenly. "I exist to you. And I exist to the people I share a body with. And that's all." Mark's face is starting to fall. Unus can see Mark is starting to realize what he's feeling. So he keeps going. "I want to exist to other people, too. I want them to look at me and think, _oh, look, it's Unus_ , and not, _huh, Ethan is acting kind of weird today._ "_ _

__Mark inhales sharply. Unus doesn't go on. He just keeps eye contact, using what Mark likes to call his "chilling death stare", and lets Mark process what he's saying. His head is still dead silent. He isn't sure why. It's not like he hasn't expressed these feelings to the others before. Perhaps it's that sharing them with Mark makes them more real._ _

__"Okay," he finally says, taking a deep breath that moves through his entire body, shoulders slowly raising and lowering with it, and locks eyes with Unus. "I'm okay with that. But you know it's not up to me."_ _

__Yes. Unus knows that. He knows that to a painful extent._ _

__"Talk to everyone else. If they're okay with it, then I'll support you guys through telling people. I'm ride or die, Unus. You know that." Mark chuckles a little, and Unus can't help but crack a small smile. "But you can't make such a big decision on your own."_ _

__Unus nods. He already knew that. But maybe he just needed to hear it from Mark._ _

__"Okay," he responds, after a heavy moment of silence. "We'll talk." What he doesn't say is that it will probably be a no. He knows that well enough. Yes, he knew all of this already. But Mark saying it is, in fact, the reminder he needed._ _

__Unus is getting tired of not existing. But for the safety of everyone else, he'll hide away for another day._ _

**Author's Note:**

> well i just read this for the first time as i was working on posting it and it hit me in the mushy feelings spot so i am going to. have a talk with the author when i get a chance. woo.
> 
> as always, i love comments and kudos, yall have been so sweet on this series!! and i super love hearing from other ppl w/ dissociative disorders because hearing that i'm (or in this case, someone else is) making relatable content for something not enough ppl talk abt makes me really happy!! on a related note if any other systems out there need someone to talk to abt this shit id love to be that person for u !! it sucks being so limited on who you can talk to and get real understanding from. yuck.
> 
> thanks for reading, guys. love you all! <3


End file.
